Full Disclosure

In the past, I left one toxic job for another. I wondered if I was unable to handle stress or if the issues I was seeing and feeling were valid... Now on the other side, I can see I had trouble identifying toxic people and was easily manipulated. It is possible to love my job and thrive. #feelinggood

A few years ago I was asked to review a project. My boss asked me to be brutally honest. My review was critical. The goal of the project was for content to go deep, but those involved had stayed very surface. My supervisor was confused when he heard my review because the editor on the project had told our supervisor the content was GREAT! When we were both brought into a meeting, the editor said, “It was just women talking. I figured since they were laughing it was good``... It was discouraging to hear that this was what my colleague thought of women. It made me wonder if he didn't take me seriously.

I almost left a job that I love and thrive in for a relationship. I've learned that a partner that is a good fit would not have asked that of me.

I was recently asked to take over as lead consultant on a project. When the client was informed, they questioned the shift. Not because of my qualifications, but because I was a woman. I am still working with this client, and our dynamic is great. It was frustrating that this was the initial reaction and that my male boss had to step in to vouch for me.

Most of the time I feel like an imposter and a failure. Reminding myself of my qualifications and seeing progress helps, but I am still working on changing my inner monologue.

I have a colleague that uses language that I feel diminishes me, but this person also advocates for me to earn more and has helped me secure raises. I address it softly, but this person thinks I'm joking. I struggle to address this without seeming like I have an ego problem.

I love my job. I get annoyed with everyone complaining all the time. Change! I``m sure this makes me sounds like a jerk, but it's how I feel.

I know I'm being underpaid. I'm trying to get a new client to replace the one that is underpaying me... but it's taking time. I want to try and get more for the work I'm doing with my largest client but I'm afraid they'll drop me. This gap between being underpaid by my largest client and trying to replace them or get paid more is an SOB.